I've given you a little demonstration of the way my school handles assemblies before but this one was a new low. Some teacher decided to get us a guy with a project called "Coexist" and told him to give us a speech. He walked on stage wearing one of those ugly head mike thingies and the shitstorm started.
First he told us that he usually gives this speech to universities but decided that the younger generation would more likely benefit more. I then (erroneously) believed that it must be a good, intelligent speech. I could not be more wrong. I think it was because the college students just threw rancid tomatoes at him until he left.
He started with giving us an incorrect definition of the word coexist. You know a speech is going to be shit, when the speaker tries to cherrypick information from a dictionary definition. After fucking up the definition of coexist, he proceeded to attempt to use the technique of "selective information" on the Quran and Bible; he first translated the sayings to English (for an Arabic school that takes religion lessons in Arabic), then vaguely described the place the saying was found in, and finally obviously misinterpreted it and looked like he hoped we wouldn't notice. A religious guy (Haggis) was sitting next to me and I could see him fuming with rage.
He proceeded to continue fucking up basic definitions of words (for example: he said successor meant CARETAKER, CARETAKER? YOU COULD BE THE SUCCESSOR TO THE PREVIOUS LEADER OF THE KKK, DOES THAT MAKE YOU A CARETAKER MOTHERFUCKER?), continued with the mistranslation and lazy misinterpretation of the Quran and Bible, showed us a video with the sound cut (I mean at least double-check beforehand), severely mutilated basic grammar ("I'm sorry, This are a technical issue". THIS ARE? You usually give this speech to goddamn universities! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN "THIS ARE?") and made a weak attempt to instill an idea within us before going home. The audience collectively yawned or fumed with each idiotic sentence after idiotic sentence. My English teacher wanted to give him a 5/10 for his presentation.
I just wanted to throw a dictionary at him.
He started with giving us an incorrect definition of the word coexist. You know a speech is going to be shit, when the speaker tries to cherrypick information from a dictionary definition. After fucking up the definition of coexist, he proceeded to attempt to use the technique of "selective information" on the Quran and Bible; he first translated the sayings to English (for an Arabic school that takes religion lessons in Arabic), then vaguely described the place the saying was found in, and finally obviously misinterpreted it and looked like he hoped we wouldn't notice. A religious guy (Haggis) was sitting next to me and I could see him fuming with rage.
He proceeded to continue fucking up basic definitions of words (for example: he said successor meant CARETAKER, CARETAKER? YOU COULD BE THE SUCCESSOR TO THE PREVIOUS LEADER OF THE KKK, DOES THAT MAKE YOU A CARETAKER MOTHERFUCKER?), continued with the mistranslation and lazy misinterpretation of the Quran and Bible, showed us a video with the sound cut (I mean at least double-check beforehand), severely mutilated basic grammar ("I'm sorry, This are a technical issue". THIS ARE? You usually give this speech to goddamn universities! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN "THIS ARE?") and made a weak attempt to instill an idea within us before going home. The audience collectively yawned or fumed with each idiotic sentence after idiotic sentence. My English teacher wanted to give him a 5/10 for his presentation.
I just wanted to throw a dictionary at him.
