I was forced to read The Handmaid's Tale for English class and I really gotta say: I hate The Handmaid's Tale. I hate it more than virtually every other piece of written work in the universe from a pamphlet for a spa resort to The Illiad. It's a big fat steaming pile of horseshit that sucks ass, and I'm going to tell you exactly why.
Basically, it's fucking stupid. Having a shitty writing style and vaguely explained slightly nonsensical ideas is one thing, but trying to employ them through the whiniest and most depressing cunt of a narrator through a confusing "alternative" nonlinear story makes the book about as bearable as being continuously prodded in the buttocks with a dildo made of lava for all eternity.
First off, let's talk about the ideas presented in this clusterfuck of a novel. The story revolves around a system of government called Gilead which was created through a military coup d'etat after a national tragedy. Gilead is a totalitarian system of government which seeks to control the populous in order to increase falling birthrates...by subjugating and depressing all fertile women to the point of insanity and then giving them to elderly men and going "well why the fuck aren't they getting pregnant?" This would be bearable if the aforementioned elderly men weren't the goddamned geniuses capable of successfully orchestrating a government takeover.
Besides, don't you think attempting to subjugate an entire civilian population with very little effective propaganda seems a teeny weeny bit difficult? Because it is, in fact, it's extremely difficult. Historically, except in a few choice cases, this shitty attempt at an ideological revolution would not only be a failure, it would be a majorly absurd international fuckup of the highest degree. Like if a government made the decision to impose a uniform for every single civilian composed of a thong and crop-top made of toenail clippings. Nobody would fucking listen to the system and it would lose integrity and collapse, such as the Provincial Government of Russia in 1917 off the top of my head (about the loss of faith in government, not the toenails). How does the book deal with this? It doesn't, instead it makes the characters bitch and whine and say shit like "I yearn for the touch of another human". And what happens to the only fucking sensible character in this whole fuckfest? She turns into a prostitute and dies, as a lesson to say "if you're unhappy with the system and try to oppose it, you'll end up dying miserably"
And the goddamn characters, oh my God. Somehow, although the characters are distinct, the writer manages to make each and every one thoroughly and exceedingly dislikeable. And just to clarify, although the characters are distinct from each other, pretty much every character falls into a predetermined stereotypical static piece-of-shit character role; like: surly old housemaid, forbidden love, rebellious friend...etc And please don't even get me started on the main character and narrator: Offred.
Offred is the shittiest main character in the history of literature, including Mein Kampf. Everything that she narrates, from beginning to end fucking reeks of paranoia, cheap melodrama and the writer's repressed emotions of contempt towards the reader.
The problem is, Offred's is such goddamned useless miserable cunt. She just randomly goes "I don't want to tell this story" and entertains us with a motherfucking passage about fucking oranges that is never fucking referenced ever a-fucking-gain. I hate oranges. While we're on the topic of things that I hate, let's talk about the writing style.
The book is filled with literary crap. The writer seems to actively make it a point to make the book as difficult to get through a possible; from including fucking eggs in every section, to using multisyllabic garbage like lugubrious. What the fuck is a lugubrious? Because it sounds like an excessively unappetizing vegetable. And worse, it's not until page 160 (out of 270) that there's actually a storyline. Before that it's just Offred bitching about the system. One hundred and sixty motherfucking pages of miserable "inner thoughts and feelings" nonsensical bullshit. Literally the majority of the book can be removed without altering ANYTHING.
To put it in short, The Handmaid's Tale is the most awful book ever created and should only ever be picked up as a last resort by the terminally ill who cannot find other means of euthanasia.
Basically, it's fucking stupid. Having a shitty writing style and vaguely explained slightly nonsensical ideas is one thing, but trying to employ them through the whiniest and most depressing cunt of a narrator through a confusing "alternative" nonlinear story makes the book about as bearable as being continuously prodded in the buttocks with a dildo made of lava for all eternity.
First off, let's talk about the ideas presented in this clusterfuck of a novel. The story revolves around a system of government called Gilead which was created through a military coup d'etat after a national tragedy. Gilead is a totalitarian system of government which seeks to control the populous in order to increase falling birthrates...by subjugating and depressing all fertile women to the point of insanity and then giving them to elderly men and going "well why the fuck aren't they getting pregnant?" This would be bearable if the aforementioned elderly men weren't the goddamned geniuses capable of successfully orchestrating a government takeover.
 |
| Now that I've successfully taken over the government, I'm going to quit using any brain cells not associated with my penis. |
Besides, don't you think attempting to subjugate an entire civilian population with very little effective propaganda seems a teeny weeny bit difficult? Because it is, in fact, it's extremely difficult. Historically, except in a few choice cases, this shitty attempt at an ideological revolution would not only be a failure, it would be a majorly absurd international fuckup of the highest degree. Like if a government made the decision to impose a uniform for every single civilian composed of a thong and crop-top made of toenail clippings. Nobody would fucking listen to the system and it would lose integrity and collapse, such as the Provincial Government of Russia in 1917 off the top of my head (about the loss of faith in government, not the toenails). How does the book deal with this? It doesn't, instead it makes the characters bitch and whine and say shit like "I yearn for the touch of another human". And what happens to the only fucking sensible character in this whole fuckfest? She turns into a prostitute and dies, as a lesson to say "if you're unhappy with the system and try to oppose it, you'll end up dying miserably"
And the goddamn characters, oh my God. Somehow, although the characters are distinct, the writer manages to make each and every one thoroughly and exceedingly dislikeable. And just to clarify, although the characters are distinct from each other, pretty much every character falls into a predetermined stereotypical static piece-of-shit character role; like: surly old housemaid, forbidden love, rebellious friend...etc And please don't even get me started on the main character and narrator: Offred.
Offred is the shittiest main character in the history of literature, including Mein Kampf. Everything that she narrates, from beginning to end fucking reeks of paranoia, cheap melodrama and the writer's repressed emotions of contempt towards the reader.
 |
| Boop boop boop. I hate everybody |
The book is filled with literary crap. The writer seems to actively make it a point to make the book as difficult to get through a possible; from including fucking eggs in every section, to using multisyllabic garbage like lugubrious. What the fuck is a lugubrious? Because it sounds like an excessively unappetizing vegetable. And worse, it's not until page 160 (out of 270) that there's actually a storyline. Before that it's just Offred bitching about the system. One hundred and sixty motherfucking pages of miserable "inner thoughts and feelings" nonsensical bullshit. Literally the majority of the book can be removed without altering ANYTHING.
To put it in short, The Handmaid's Tale is the most awful book ever created and should only ever be picked up as a last resort by the terminally ill who cannot find other means of euthanasia.
