The fashion district of New York is a marvel of capitalism and if you plan on visiting Spider-Man's hometown it's definitely a sightseeing requirement. Or at least that's what I told myself to justify being dragged to Macy's and having to browse clothes stores with another dude. The dude in this case being Stickman. The reason for this possibly offensive title is that he was really tall and really thin which made him very stickman like.
I think he'd be very displeased with the name.
Macy's was just as droll as I'd suspected and in retrospect I should've learned the difference between Macy's and Wendy's before coming to the land of diabeetus.
But having already arrived and stuck in the area with a dude who was unwilling to leave, I chose to remain in the area and check out a few of the clothes stores.
We first checked out some "edgy" 1990's style, skateboarder themed clothes store that was on the very thin line between awesome and sickening. What definitively pushed it into the awesome sector, though, was a pair of gel sole flip-flops.
They seemed awesome, so I took them off the rack, compared the sole size to the shoes I was currently wearing and then told the lady that I'd like a pair of these flip flops. The looks I got could be compared to that of a man walking into a supermarket wearing nothing but a thong and a pair of bunny ears. Both Stickman and the attendant just looked at me blankly for a while before asking "don't you need a size?"
I replied, "No thank you, just these. The same ones on the rack"
The incredulous looks that I got from these two were amazing enough to plant within me the seed of evil. As a result I decided to buy my 6 foot, 100 kilogram father a t-shirt.
I'm not a big dude. I'm rather average actually, on the shorter, smaller side . I had this in mind when we walked into the next store and saw plain t-shirts on sale for $5. I walked over to the section of the sale and picked out an XXL t-shirt before realizing that Stickman was staring.
I turned to him and realized that he was looking at the unravelled XXL t-shirt that was practically touching the floor with a look that said "you are not XXL, that shirt would function as a dress for you". So I looked him straight in the eye and said "Of course I'm buying a bigger t-shirt, it's more fabric and therefore better value for money"
I've never seen a person look so genuinely befuddled. It looked as though I had destroyed his entire worldview and his understanding of economics. He looked like a child who had discovered that crayons were, in fact, the source of color in the universe. As soon as I was alone I laughed for maybe a good ten minutes.
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| My dream is to own white jeans |
Macy's was just as droll as I'd suspected and in retrospect I should've learned the difference between Macy's and Wendy's before coming to the land of diabeetus.
We first checked out some "edgy" 1990's style, skateboarder themed clothes store that was on the very thin line between awesome and sickening. What definitively pushed it into the awesome sector, though, was a pair of gel sole flip-flops.
 |
| Real beauty |
I replied, "No thank you, just these. The same ones on the rack"
The incredulous looks that I got from these two were amazing enough to plant within me the seed of evil. As a result I decided to buy my 6 foot, 100 kilogram father a t-shirt.
I'm not a big dude. I'm rather average actually, on the shorter, smaller side . I had this in mind when we walked into the next store and saw plain t-shirts on sale for $5. I walked over to the section of the sale and picked out an XXL t-shirt before realizing that Stickman was staring.
I've never seen a person look so genuinely befuddled. It looked as though I had destroyed his entire worldview and his understanding of economics. He looked like a child who had discovered that crayons were, in fact, the source of color in the universe. As soon as I was alone I laughed for maybe a good ten minutes.
