I got my first dedicated hate mail yesterday! I'm really excited about it. Here it is, it's a comment on the To My Lovely Readers post.
I first want to take some time to thank this lovely person for obsessing over a decade-old blog post. That takes a type of dedication rarely seen these days in anyone but the furthest gone of gooners, autists, and social media goblins... so I guess it's not all that rare.
Unfortunately, I'm too lazy half to reply with as much loquaciousness or whatever the fuck, but here's a nice little bullet point list for Anonymous McDicknuts:
1) Talk shit get hit. You wanna comment on my posts? Use a spellcheck and don't fuck with my G Mike Myers. Shrek is a banger.
1) You've never read the book? What the fuck are you doing here then? Are you actively searching for things that bother you on the internet? Go outside and make friends. Play with a ball or something. Play with your balls, I won't judge.
1) You're a cunt.
1) Glad to know you find that idea amusing! It's OK, it's 2025 and no-one but your mom is going to check your internet history.
1) Who are you to critique my writing, Stephen Hawking? Argue with over 30k views and those sweet sweet 16 cents of ad revenue which I'd be swimming in if I'd ever turned AdSense on.
1) Suck my dick, loser. Please link the blog post about shitty reviews, I'd love to put it on my CV.
See you homos in a year or something, stay chilling.
